Top 10: Things We'll Miss About SUVs

These are the top 10 things we'll miss about SUVs when they're gone
A college buddy recently passed, but if you asked any of his close friends, nobody was exactly shocked to hear the news. In fact, after his funeral, several of us more or less admitted our collective amazement that it didn’t happen a lot sooner. We agreed we’d miss him, even though he was a high-maintenance individual who was dangerously obese and drank far too much. “Just like his H2,” a darker member of our group observed -- an odd interjection, but a good point.

The H2, and other big body-on-frame sport utility vehicles are on death’s door. And whether or not they go gentle into that good night, their fate seems to be soaked in $4/gallon (and some now predict $5/gallon) gas. The Greens are pleased, of course, but some old friends of SUVs will miss them and try to remember them for their strengths. Try as we might, we still haven't found a manly alternative to the sport utility vehicle; its name alone reminds us that it was specifically designed to help us get out to places we otherwise couldn't go, with gear we otherwise might not be able to carry, to do things we otherwise couldn't do. At this bittersweet junction, we've decided to look at all that was good about the SUVs on the road. We'll also mention the models that exemplify these strengths as we bring you through the top 10 things we'll miss about SUVs.

Number 10

Resale

Driving by dealer lots lately would have you believe they’re having an early Halloween-themed sale. Turns out, the cobwebs on the big SUVs aren’t decorative. That wasn’t always the case: When SUVs were in demand, dealers got fat off all the desperate me-too buyers. Of course, the tables turned at trade-in time, when clean used models commanded top dollar and rolled away again just as quickly as the new ones.

In loving SUV memory: 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee

Number 9

Safety

If you could resist the urge to swerve out of the way of danger and inadvertently test its roof-crush strength, your SUV’s tank-like feeling took on a new meaning in terms of protection, and is definitely one of the top 10 things we'll miss about SUVs. The old adage of putting as much metal as possible between you and the next guy was one reason why SUVs found their way onto so many driveways -- sure, their size made them more of a threat to everyone else on the road, but at least you'd make it to Point B in one piece.

In loving SUV memory: 2002 GMC Yukon

Number 8

Space

Your wife, plus your kid(s), plus your dog(s), plus everyone’s gear -- it all adds up pretty quickly. However, with an SUV you could take a trip without limiting carry-ons to one small bag and one personal item. Even though the maximum cargo room in some SUVs could be matched or bested by station wagons or (ugh) minivans, sport-utes were just so much cooler than the rest.

In loving SUV memory: 2000 Ford Excursion

Number 7

Conflict

SUVs are, among other things, a way to broadcast a screw-you attitude; you actually welcomed the thought of neo-hippies talking smack about your vehicle, and this is one thing we'll miss about SUVs. They’d whine about SUVs being the reason why trees are dying, the ozone layer is vanishing and baby seals are getting thumped -- whatever. You didn’t care. You were sending a message, and if a few more dead dinosaurs got burned in the process, so be it.

In loving SUV memory: 2003 Hummer H2

Number 6

Altitude

Given the choice of not being able to see around the nimrod in front of you or actually getting to see the road ahead, there really was no choice at all. You wanted to know what was going on, and you wanted to know before you got there. Your commanding view of the road afforded you this intel and allowed you to act accordingly -- when you weren’t on the phone or yelling at your kids, anyway.

In loving SUV memory: 2000 Chevy Suburban

SUVs are a dying breed, and they will be missed

Number 5

Attitude

Not to be confused with the conflict or intimidation factors, the attitude aspect suggested a sense of adventure; like you were ready to drive up a mountain or yank a house off its foundation at any moment. Take Ford’s SUV line, for example: You could get yours decked out with the Eddie Bauer package. Yup, you may never have gone off-road beyond the time you ventured into a gravel parking lot, but your ride certainly looked the part, which is what mattered most and is one of those things we'll miss about SUVs.

In loving SUV memory: 1995 Ford Explorer

Number 4

Luxury

Somewhere along the way, some automaker realized that SUVs could be the proverbial iron fist in a velvet glove. Soon, the option lists of many models rivaled those of traditional luxury sedans: Heated and cooled leather seats, nav systems, power everything, DVD players to entrance the brood -- it all became the standard operating procedure. You had the bells and whistles of your parents’ frumpy sedan without taking yet another step closer to becoming your father.

In loving SUV memory: 2004 Infiniti QX56

Number 3

Capability

Once upon a time, SUVs had their 4x4 transfer cases controlled by a floor-mounted shifter and manual lockout wheel hubs up front -- primitive stuff. It’s since given way to innocuous dashboard buttons that involve no greater effort than shuffling tracks on the stereo. And in all honesty, those buttons for the 4x4 system were pushed more often out of curiosity than necessity. However, when you did actually need it, the extra traction was a godsend and may have made the difference between getting home in nasty weather and being stranded.

In loving SUV memory: 2003 Ford Expedition

Number 2

Intimidation

Even the meekest guy you know could fire up the V8 in his sport-ute and immediately become a bigger, more manly man. Suddenly, he’d take cruel pleasure in tormenting hatchbacks on the freeway. He’d close to within inches of the guy ahead of him and make would-be lane changers reconsider the errors of their ways. In a world where guys sometimes feel like everything’s slipping from their grasp, the behind-the-wheel feel empowered more than a few to intoxication.

In loving SUV memory: 2004 Dodge Durango

Number 1

Prestige

SUVs may now get laughs as ill-considered purchases and/or sad attempts at compensation for shortcomings, but they once defined the man of the '90s and the new millennium. They were powerful, in your face and couldn’t be ignored -- mirroring the personalities of more than a few of their drivers. The power vehicle of choice is a cyclical thing, and the prestige that came standard with SUVs a few years ago has been replaced with a sense of failing to evolve.

In loving SUV memory: 2003 Lexus LX 470

Original here