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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The 9 Most Baffling Theme Parks From Around the World

he Amusement Park is the pinnacle of cultural achievement: technology and resources dedicated purely to people having fun. And we can all agree that history wasn't complete until Walt Disney allowed humanity to experience "The Happiest Place on Earth!" (for a nominal fee).

Now societies throughout the world have their own wondrous amusement parks. And like Disney did for us, their parks reflect their culture's stories, passions and traditions ... and make outsiders cock their heads and say "What the fuck!?"

Diggerland: The Dumpiest Place on Earth!

If you visit this amusement park's website you'll be treated to their wonderful jingle. The fun lyrics infused with surf-rock riffs almost make you forget that this park is nothing more than modified excavation equipment.

Diggerland, surprisingly, is not located near a NASCAR track, but resides solely in the United Kingdom. That's right, British people pay money to turn fantasy into reality and drive and operate construction equipment. Here in America, that fantasy becomes reality too, and all you need to do is drop out of high school.

One of Diggerland's biggest attractions is the "Dancing Diggers," a 30-minute show featuring five JCBs and a mini loader that perform coordinated musical numbers, daredevil stunts and comedy.

Now if only they could get to work on building an actual amusement park, we'd really be impressed. But even then, it's hard to fully ridicule this park's concept. Haven't we all daydreamed, at least once, of fucking around on a piece of construction equipment? Before anyone gets too excited, keep in mind that all operations are conducted under strict supervision. So the latter half of that fantasy where you plant a back hoe into the windshield of your boss' Corvette will have to wait.

Grutas Park: The Most Miserable Place on Earth!

Also known as "Stalin's World," it resides in the wetlands of Dzukija National Park in Lithuania. The park's theme is the half-century Soviet occupation of Lithuania. That means big on education, short on amusement. The park is a two-mile trek across wooden walkways, enclosed by barbed wire fences and guard towers to help give tourists that authentic Gulag prison camp feel.

Hey, check out the adventure map!

It must be hard to choose between the glowering stone face of Lenin and the sullen, unflinching stare of Stalin. So much to do!

All of the statues represent the men and women who influenced the occupation of Lithuania, with the exception of Karl Marx. Our guess is that of the 46 sculptors who were commissioned, none could do fluffy beards. Every one of the 86 statues include a placard explaining the historical significance, which means reading, a whole lot of reading; about tyranny, death and other unspeakable horrors.

Look, it's Stalin! Erecting several monuments in his image sure will show that murdering bastard what for!

Nintendo Amusement Park: The Nerdiest Place on Earth!

This park devoted to Super Mario is still in its developmental stages, but its developing into something totally fucking insane. Stomping goombas, busting blocks and collecting coins in what looks like some fanboy's basement. Just watch this poorly narrated commercial (and note that they hired some girl to intentionally speak in Engrish, since the project is located in New York City).

In the video you see a person fitted with Mario's gloves, overalls and mustache. Oh and also his power harness. As all loyal Nintendo fans know, it was the source of Mario's abilities, but couldn't quite be made out by the poor NES graphics. Customers for the Nintendo Amusement Park however will be fitted with the harness, and be free to move wherever their heart and a motorized truss and suspension system desires.

Using state of the art, crane-game technology, a person is able to leap on to brown, googly-eyed pillows and pop-yellow balloons. This is a magnificently underwhelming experience for gamers and amusement park enthusiasts alike. For authenticity each completed ride results in a man wearing a mushroom cap telling you the princess has been moved to a different ride. Please pay another admission fee to save her.

Seagaia Ocean Dome: The Most Unnecessary Place on Earth!

The Japanese are always at the forefront of state of the art technologies. Take for example the Seagaia Ocean Dome, boasted in the Guinness Book of World Records as the largest indoor water park. A great achievement from a publication that also recognizes who can put the most clothespins on their face at one time. Though, the beauty of the vacation spot is undeniable.

The dome also features waves for surfers--fun! A volcano that has hourly eruptions--spectacular! And a retractable roof that can replicate a blue sky when closed--mindfuck! In Miyazaki, Japan, this featured destination had it all. But the park did happen to have one design flaw ...

It was built less than 1,000 feet from an ocean. A real ocean. One that also has waves and sand. If you want the hourly erupting volcano and dome, then you'll have to throw some M-80s in a sandcastle from under your umbrella. The $50 admission fee for the Ocean Dome sent potential customers heading outdoors, because at those prices the ultimate indoor ocean becomes nothing more than a dirty public pool.

The losses were so great that the Dome has been closed and reopened and closed again, never becoming the money-maker investors had envisioned. Perhaps a project meant to bring the fun and wonder of the ocean to a people would go over better in a country that isn't an island.

Suoi Tien Cultural Amusement Park: The Most Disquieting Place on Earth!

Located in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, this beautiful park has it all: water parks, go-karts, rides and parades. It also taps in to an overlooked theme, Buddhism. Nearly all areas of the park reflect the history and religious teachings that have been a part of the Vietnamese culture for generations. And as a bonus you never have to stray far before finding a statue's belly to rub for good luck!

The park also features Heaven Palace--a facsimile of the afterlife for those who can escape the 12 torments of hell. There's nothing like being reminded of your eminent death and eternal judgment in-between go-karts and bumper boats. But what are those 12 torments? Well, for all you potential (and probable) sinners there is a Pirates of the Caribbean-style ride, featuring animatronics that represent levels of hell. There are specific punishments for drug addicts, gamblers and adulterers. Now you can laugh nervously with the whole family while poorly made robots are punished for their earthly cravings.

If you start feeling a little anxious pondering eternity, try relaxing at the duck pond where you can feed live ducks. Except in Suoi Tien they call it Crocodile Kingdom, and instead of ducks it features over 1,500 live crocodiles.

And instead of tossing in bits of food you can tease the crocodiles with meat dangling from fishing poles.

It's what Buddha would have wanted.

Dickens World: The Most Ill-Conceived Place On Earth!

Charles Dickens was one of the most influential writers of his or any generation. And now you too can step into the filthy streets of 19th century London and experience the improper waste management and disease-ridden beggars first hand. What child wouldn't want to visit a place like this?

Besides of course, any child appearing in Dickens' novels. Although the park features a boat ride between decrepit streets and houses, it is leaning more toward a living museum than honest to goodness amusement park fun. Like Colonial Williamsburg there are actors mingling in the streets, bothering any person walking by. Because, sometimes you just want to know where a bathroom is and not hear a rehearsed 10-minute spiel about the local orphanage. Let's take a look at the promo package.

Wow! Hoop and stick, jump rope and a person being bound to a pole! The flashbacks to the largely ignored readings of high school English are at every turn!

Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park: The Copyright Infringingest Place On Earth!

China, determined to reinforce stereotypes of producing nothing but cheap knock offs, is the location for a completely bootleg theme park. Shijingshan Amusement Park has a lot of familiar faces, although park officials refer to them in not so familiar ways.

Here, for instance, is "Duck" and "Girl Cat."

Those who aren't idiots might notice that the cat has rather large, round ears, or the fact that it's a blatant copy of Minnie Mouse. Other characters can be seen throughout the park including a goofy dog, a peasant girl turned princess in glass slippers and a sleeping beauty. Disney bosses have issued numerous copyright infringement lawsuits and recently park workers destroyed the sleeping beauty statues with sledgehammers, and gave no official reason as to why.

But the fakes don't end at Disney characters. Popular Japanese cartoon characters are also seen parading around the park.

The park's owners say everything in the park is original and based off of Grimm's Fairy Tales. We're not sure about all that, but based on Snow White's ticket booth, maybe we all should give those old fairy tales another read.

In 2005, Hong Kong Disneyland was opened, a Walt Disney-licensed park under the jurisdiction of the Chinese Government. Shijingshan Amusement Park was opened in 1986 but it wasn't until Japanese bloggers began reporting about it in late 2007 that people started noticing the suspicious similarities. Minor troubling coincidences like this festival of Disney dopplegangers, that was held under a banner that read "Disney is too far, so please come to Shijingshan."

Looks like the big, round-eared cat is out of the bag.

Love Land: The Horniest Place On Earth!

This hot spot for Korean lovers and newlyweds was opened in 2004 on Cheju Island off the coast of South Korea. It is an outdoor park featuring 140 sculptures, sex education films and, what the heck, a gigantic stone penis.

After the Korean War, the island was a great place for young lovers to get away from it all, and favorable because of the warm climate. Then 2002 marked the beginning of graduates of Seoul's Hongik University starting sculptures that would be placed in the labyrinth of delicious hedonism. There really is something for everyone at Love Land. If you find mammoth cocks intimidating, try watching a mountain finger itself.

The idea of stone labia got you down? Then just enjoy sculptures of couples enjoying their partners company. Remember, it's not porn if it's carved in stone. If you're at work just tell everyone you are an art enthusiast.

The park is around the length of two soccer fields and takes approximately one hour to view all exhibits, not factoring in time it takes to furiously masturbate in the bushes. Owners hope the place will not only be seen as dirty fun but also help the inexperienced understand more about sex and pleasure. However the exhibits may still be too simplistic.

If only it were easy as turning a handle. There are a lot of empty compliments and unfulfilled promises before you get to that stage.

If you're young, horny and curious, give Love Land a try. Or you can try it if you're old, perverted and lonely. Or even if you just like fresh air accompanied by people fucking.

Bon Bon Land: The Tackiest Place On Earth!

Some amusement parks use fantasy as theme; others go for adventure. And others still, like the Danish amusement park Bon Bon Land, use the crassest visual gags possible. The concept of the park is that a candy maker creates his confections involving animals and objects, and these characters populate the nasty little world. One of the most popular rides is the "Hundeprutterutchebane", which translate to Dog-Fart-Coaster.

The shitting dog the riders encircle is Henry Hound. He's always letting out some embarrassing gas and feeling embarrassed. Henry, you're so loveable, if only there were a way to interact with you. And luckily for us there is, because at one turn of the coaster's track, riders are treated to being farted all over by Henry. Using speakers and the latest advancements in fart replication everyone leaves happy, assuming "everyone" is a mental defective. But the fun, and toilet humor, doesn't stop there. Hop on the crazy Turtle.

Or ride the carousel featuring these cute characters.

Yes, it seems everywhere you look something is about to throw up, in the act of throwing up or exposing itself. Uh oh Mr. Seagull, is there something you'd like to add to the depravity?

You rascal, shitting into the alligator's mouth, a clever ruse indeed.

The trip isn't one you'll soon forget, no matter how tight you close your eyes while damning the images burned into your memory. Watch these tourists visit to Bon Bon Land and enjoy the sights (cow titties) and sounds (dog farts). Keep an eye out for the exciting "self operated" rides. Exciting because you could die!

Amusement parks need to always meet one goal, make the customer happy. If the Danish people consider topless cattle and huge piles of dog shit fun, then they better be the biggest tits and tightest-wound shit piles possible. Excellence is all a customer can demand, and that's what Bon Bon Land delivers. Tacky, vulgar excellence.

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Top 10 beaches we love

Beloved for their beautiful settings, smashing eye-candy, shoreside fun

Trendsetting bikinis still set the standard at Ipanema Beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil—and the eye-candy remains second to none. The two-mile stretch of golden sand is no slouch either, as it’s edged by a groovy mosaic boardwalk and anchored by twin mountain peaks at its western end. On the sand itself, a mix of Capoeira dancers, volleyball games, soccer, and scantily clad "Cariocas" (locals) command attention.

Our favorite beaches are just the spots to warm up. They come in all colors — white, pink, gold, and black — and are either beloved for their superb natural setting, smashing eye-candy, or beachside activities. This winter, pick between powdery Caribbean shores, heavenly Hawaiian islands, cosmopolitan Australia, spectacular Brazil, and undeveloped Mexico. And, when you're ready to hit the beach again next summer, we've got you covered there too, with glamorous Mediterranean swaths in Greece and the South of France, and even a remote archipelago off the coast of Africa.

1. Anse Source d’Argent
The archipelago of Seychelles, composed of more than 100 palm tree-studded islands in the midst of the Indian Ocean, is a mostly undiscovered destination for American travelers, largely due to its distant location, some 1,000 miles off the eastern coast of Africa. Dedicated beachcombers who make the trek will, however, be rewarded with some of the most paradisical shores in the world, where beautiful secluded beaches and idyllic lagoons meet with unspoiled natural landscapes echoing with exotic bird songs. The tiny island of La Digue’s picture-perfect Anse Source d’Argent (French for "silver spring cove") is one of the islands’ most popular beaches, featuring fine pink sands; towering, weathered granite boulders; and giant, arching palm trees. Swimming, snorkeling, and scuba diving are ever-popular in these calm, reef-protected waters. A sprinkling of nearby luxurious resorts and spas also beckon, catering to the beach-lovers who make this ultimate beach pilgrimage in high-season — May through September.

2. Grace Bay
Revered as one of the last frontiers of the Caribbean, Turks and Caicos is an oasis for those seeking to do little more than lounge on the beach, as there are few diversions other than surf, sun, and sand. And when the sand in question is as superb as gorgeous Grace Bay, it’s no wonder the focus is on the beach. Edging 12 miles along the northern coast of Providenciales (the chain’s main island), the fine white sand here is easily one of the finest swaths of beach we’ve ever seen in the Caribbean. What’s more, the Atlantic waters it faces are calmed and protected by a natural 499-mile-long barrier reef, which gives the ocean a marvelous turquoise sheen. The fact that the beach also rarely gets crowded, even in high-season, only adds to its appeal. Indeed, with this trifecta going for it, Grace Bay is the ultimate R&R destination — the most strenuous thing you’ll do here is try and spot JoJo, the island’s resident dolphin, who likes to frolic in the distance.

3. Ipanema
“Tall and tan and young and lovely.” So goes “The Girl from Ipanema”, the famous ode to the bathing beauties (or garotas) who lounge and strut on this stunning stretch of sand in Rio de Janeiro. Even four decades after the song’s debut, trendsetting bikinis still set the standard here (who can forget the oh-so memorable dental-floss version?) and the eye-candy remains second to none. The two-mile stretch of golden sand is no slouch either, as it’s edged by a groovy mosaic boardwalk and anchored by twin mountain peaks at its western end. On the sand itself, a mix of Capoeira dancers, volleyball games, soccer, and scantily clad "Cariocas" (locals) command attention. The surrounding neighborhood also brims with hip restaurants, clubs, and shops; beach bums can take aprés-sun strolls along Rua Vinícius de Moraes, a popular avenue offering a stylish spread of bars and eateries, including the most famous of all, the Bar Garota de Ipanema, where the eponymous song was penned.

4. Lanikai Beach
That Lanikai is considered the best swimming beach even by local Hawaiians should come as no surprise — after all, its name does mean “heavenly sea.” An offshore coral reef protects the deep turquoise lagoon, making the surf relatively mild and ideal for splashing around as well as kayaking, sailing, canoeing, and windsurfing. The mile-long beach itself, on Oahu’s windward side, is also quite scenic and has served as a backdrop in countless fashion shoots; imagine a wide swath dotted by tall swaying palms that cast shadows on the soft, sugary sand. Plus, you’ll find the twin islands and bird sanctuaries of Mokulua and Mokumanu in the distance — they're accessible by kayak and boast prime sunrise views.

5. Manly Beach
While winter is just getting its frosty grip around much of the U.S., summer fun is only beginning Down Under. Lovers of both beautiful beach scenes and sophisticated city culture needn’t look further than the bustling metropolis of Sydney, where the best of both worlds combine. Enjoy all of the cultural goodies that Sydney has to offer and one of the world’s most alluring beaches, Manly, just seven miles north of Sydney Harbour. A scenic half-hour ferry ride connects Sydney’s Circular Quay with Manly’s main oceanfront, where rolling surf meets glorious golden sand beaches and a verdant trim of pine trees. The lively café- and shop-lined strip of the Corso links the harbor side of Manly to its fabulous beach — where surfing competitions, beach volleyball, festivals, and much more unfold every summer.

6. Paradise Beach
If paradise means rambling golden sands met by the deep-blue Aegean, beach bars bumping with Euro tunes, bikini-clad bodies dancing on tables, topless girls sprawled on the sand, and an overall hedonistic scene, Paradise Beach on the Greek isle of Mykonos is it. Come summer, hordes of young travelers come ashore to revel in the sultry thrills and clandestine coves only this beach can offer. Dotted with thatched umbrellas and lined with bars, shops, and discos, visitors to these raucous sands enjoy the Mediterranean seascape, soak up some rays, and, come late-afternoon, join in a full-blown fiesta right there on the sand. The music slowly starts to escalate and doesn’t typically die down before dawn — just in time for sunrise and a morning nap on the sand.

7. Plage Malendure
Our favorite black sands are found on the dazzling shores of Plage Malendure, at the base of steep jungle-covered mountains and the towering, still-active La Soufriére volcano on Basse-Terre, Guadeloupe. The result of a 1976 volcanic eruption, which saw molten lava leave pearly black ash in its wake that now sparkles under the sun, this glittering sandy cove is a primary access point to the large Jacques Cousteau Underwater Park, considered one of the Caribbean’s best dive sites. Snorkeling and diving exhibitions here visit an underwater world filled with abundant aquatic life and vivid coral and fauna. On land, a hike from the beach finds the Parc National Guadeloupe, a UNESCO Biosphere Reserve that encircles the rumbling La Soufriére volcano, where an array of natural splendors, from lush rainforest and tall ferns to orchids and pineapples is found.

8. Plage de Tahiti
Sun-kissed St. Tropez, once a sleepy fishing village, has long been the most irresistible of French Riviera resort towns, attracting sunbathing beauties from Brigitte Bardot to Beyoncé. This Mediterranean mecca of summer beach lounging and late-night partying sees chic scenesters arrive in droves between June and September to stake claim to their own little sandy piece of the action. Plage de Tahiti, one of the northern beaches along the Baie de Pampelonne, is one of the best spots to bask on golden Mediterranean shores and soak up the carnival atmosphere created by flamboyant and fashionable beachcombers. Note that the prudish needn’t apply, as this haunt is notorious for itsy-bitty and teeny-weeny bathing gear. Aside from the sun-soaking and people-watching, the beach is also conveniently lined with cafes, restaurants, and shops, to boot.

9. Trunk Bay
St. John may be the smallest of the three U.S. Virgin Islands, but it is home to Trunk Bay — an extraordinary beach that’s sure to leave the biggest impression of any on the three US islands. One of the most photographed — and photogenic — beaches in the world, Trunk Bay is the crowning glory of sleepy St. John’s dozen-odd beaches, its attractive powdery sand offset by a verdant inland replete with seagrape and palm trees and a turquoise shoreline drenched in the tropical sun. Scenic sands aside, the waters here are also popular with beginning snorkelers, who delight in following the fun, self-guided underwater trail complete with signage identifying native aquatic life and corals; snorkeling equipment can be rented right on the beach. This only downside to this crowd-pleaser is that it can indeed get crowded, especially when cruise ships are in port — on those days, you’re best to come before noon or after 4 p.m.

10. Tulum Beach
The increasingly popular Mayan Riviera destination of Tulum, 80 miles southeast of Cancun, couldn’t be more unlike its northern resort sibling. With a beach presided over by Mexico’s only waterfront Mayan ruins, the unspoiled white sands that hug the Caribbean here offer visitors the chance to get in touch with their inner chi — not the excuse to party. Indeed, what few beachfront resorts exist here tend to host yoga centers, not all-inclusive nightclubs, along the sand. Meanwhile, on the beach below Tulum’s cliff-top castle, you can bask and swim where the Maya once came ashore, in superb waters protected by the world’s second-longest barrier reef, the Great Maya Reef, which provides countless underwater pleasures among shallow coral reefs, coast-hugging sand banks, and offshore atolls.

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Cocaine's brain effect revealed

Cocaine appears to impact on the brain's impulse centres
Brain scans have revealed a possible biological basis for cocaine addiction which may explain why some get hooked, while others can use the drug socially.

The scans show cocaine alters parts of the brain controlling behaviour and appropriate decision-making.

In effect, the drug messes with what is colloquially known as willpower - with some maybe more vulnerable than others.

Trinity College Dublin researchers will present their findings to a Royal Society meeting.

The researchers took brain scans of cocaine users while they performed computer tasks.

They found that cocaine increased activity in areas of the pre-frontal cortex.

The scans also revealed differences in brain structures of cocaine users.

It is unclear whether the differences existed before they started taking cocaine, or were a result of using the drug.

This research helps us move away from thinking of drug dependence as a moral weakness and allows us to see it as more of a medical condition
Dr Hugh Garavan
Trinity College Dublin

But the findings raise the possibility that differences in brain structure render some people potentially more vulnerable to the effects of the drug.

Lead researcher Dr Hugh Garavan said previous research into drug abuse had tended to focus on the emotional aspects of addictions - such as pleasure seeking, craving and withdrawal.

The latest study suggests that it is not simply these emotions that are affected by cocaine, but the way the brain deals with them, and keeps them in check by controlling a person's actions.

Better treatment

He said: "This research helps us move away from thinking of drug dependence as a moral weakness and allows us to see it as more of a medical condition.

"Understanding the role that our brain plays in addiction may also have important implications for treating long-term addiction and designing intervention therapies.

"Importantly, new medication based on certain chemical processes in the brain could be developed as currently there are no good pharmacological treatments for cocaine.

"Traditional treatment therapy such as counselling or rehab could also be adapted to train addicts to monitor their behaviour and practice impulse control."

Dr Gerome Breen, of the Institute of Psychiatry, said: "We now know that the effects of cocaine on the brain are multi-facetted.

"Dr Garavan and his collaborators have shown convincingly that the brain regions controlling impulse control have their activity altered by cocaine.

"This aids in our understanding of cocaine's effects and, thus, the causes of cocaine addiction."

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Prozac, used by 40m people, does not work say scientists

A single Prozac capsule. Photograph: Alamy

Prozac, the bestselling antidepressant taken by 40 million people worldwide, does not work and nor do similar drugs in the same class, according to a major review released today.

The study examined all available data on the drugs, including results from clinical trials that the manufacturers chose not to publish at the time. The trials compared the effect on patients taking the drugs with those given a placebo or sugar pill.

When all the data was pulled together, it appeared that patients had improved - but those on placebo improved just as much as those on the drugs.

The only exception is in the most severely depressed patients, according to the authors - Prof Irving Kirsch from the department of psychology at Hull University and colleagues in the US and Canada. But that is probably because the placebo stopped working so well, they say, rather than the drugs having worked better.

"Given these results, there seems little reason to prescribe antidepressant medication to any but the most severely depressed patients, unless alternative treatments have failed," says Kirsch. "This study raises serious issues that need to be addressed surrounding drug licensing and how drug trial data is reported."

The paper, published today in the journal PLoS (Public Library of Science) Medicine, is likely to have a significant impact on the prescribing of the drugs. The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) already recommends that counselling should be tried before doctors prescribe antidepressants. Kirsch, who was one of the consultants for the guidelines, says the new analysis "would suggest that the prescription of antidepressant medications might be restricted even more".

The review breaks new ground because Kirsch and his colleagues have obtained for the first time what they believe is a full set of trial data for four antidepressants.

They requested the full data under freedom of information rules from the Food and Drug Administration, which licenses medicines in the US and requires all data when it makes a decision.

The pattern they saw from the trial results of fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Seroxat), venlafaxine (Effexor) and nefazodone (Serzone) was consistent. "Using complete data sets (including unpublished data) and a substantially larger data set of this type than has been previously reported, we find the overall effect of new-generation antidepressant medication is below recommended criteria for clinical significance," they write.

Two more frequently prescribed antidepressants were omitted from the study because scientists were unable to obtain all the data.

Concerns have been raised in recent years about the side-effects of this class of antidepressant. Evidence that they could prompt some young people to consider suicide led to a warning to doctors not to prescribe them for the under-18s - with the exception of Prozac, which was considered more effective than the rest.

In adults, however, the depression-beating benefits were thought to outweigh the risks. Since its launch in the US in 1988, some 40 million people have taken Prozac, earning tens of billions of dollars for the manufacturer, Eli Lilly. Although the patent lapsed in 2001, fluoxetine continues to make the company money - it is now the active ingredient in Sarafem, a pill sold by Lilly for premenstrual syndrome.

Eli Lilly was defiant last night. "Extensive scientific and medical experience has demonstrated that fluoxetine is an effective antidepressant," it said in a statement. "Since its discovery in 1972, fluoxetine has become one of the world's most-studied medicines. Lilly is proud of the difference fluoxetine has made to millions of people living with depression."

A spokesman for GlaxoSmithKline, which makes Seroxat, said the authors had failed to acknowledge the "very positive" benefits of the treatment and their conclusions were "at odds with what has been seen in actual clinical practice".

He added: "This analysis has only examined a small subset of the total data available while regulatory bodies around the world have conducted extensive reviews and evaluations of all the data available, and this one study should not be used to cause unnecessary alarm and concern for patients."

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The Ten Best Post-Apocalyptic Survival Vehicles

We asked you what you think the best post-apocalyptic vehicle would be, assuming you could fuel it up and were unable to stay in one place due to the lack of other resources (and likely abundance of radioactive zombies looking for a tasty brain to munch upon). The response we received from commenters was phenomenal. We've culled the comments down to our ten top responses. Some we expected and some we didn't, and we even had a quasi-fictional vehicle thrown in for some fun. After you've had a moment to take a gander at the zombie-fighting machines-o-war below, drop all the way down to the bottom and help us cull the wheat from the proverbial radioactive chaff and determine the ultimate ride for living through the bleak world that awaits us. The very fate of humanity may rest upon your decision. Earthroamer XV-JP
Though we're partial to the XV-LT, based on the full-sized F550 platform, CSHONTZ makes an excellent point about the zombie-killing ability of the smaller Jeep-based Earthroamer XV-JP. It's got all you need to survive, is quite portable (the only camper to ever cross the Rubicon trail) and contains a top that folds out into a queen-sized bed. You'll just have to get used to using the potty in view of the zombies. [Earthroamer] Dobbertin Surface Orbiter
What happens when a well known hotrodder puts his tinkering hands to an amphibious vehicle? The Dobbertin Surface Orbiter. Built out of an old milk tanker, the Orbiter was designed to circumnavigate the globe on land and water, which is good for when you're on the move and forced to deal with the suddenly changing seasons that the nuclear fallout will likely bring. And like all good survival vehicles, it comes complete with a kitchen and porta-potti. It nearly made it around the world, but financial problems and an eventual divorce led to the trip getting cut short. Maybe YankBoffin and BlueCoupe would be all over that. [Dobbertin Hydrocar] Sportsmobile
Commenter Buji already drives his survival vehicle. A more minimalist approach than some of the vehicles featured here, the Sportsmobile 4X4 will cross almost any terrain and still let you bring your equipment, your bail out vehicle (BOV) and camping gear with you. Even better, it can be fitted with a kennel so you can bring your best friend with you. [Sportsmobile] The Wothahellizat
Certainly winner for the best name, Adidac425 was right to identify the Wothahellizat as one of the all-time great survival vehicles. If the Sportsmobile is minimalist, the Wothahellizat is maximalist. It's a motorhome on wheels, literally. Nature photographer Rob Fray used this to do his work across the Australian continent. The perfect vehicle for when you don't want to leave anything at your underground fallout shelter. [Wothahellizat] Steeltruck 4x4
According to Froggmann, the Steelwheels truck is ready for when things heat up. Literally. This off-roader is built on the Oshkosh M100 platform used for, among other things, airport crash trucks. With this you can drive into the heart of the zombie queen's lair, rescue your friends, and torch the place, all the while making a delicious meal inside the TGIF-esque interior.
[Steelwheels] EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle
Though it's a quasi-fictional vehicle, Al Navarro was spot-on with picking the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle from the great American film Stripes. Think about it. Most of the time it looks like your standard issue GMC-based RV with all the included amenities. But with the touch of a button the armor goes down and the missiles come out. It also includes full navigational and communications equipment. If it's good enough for Bill Murray, it's good enough for us. [Cloudster] Volvo C303
Murph has it right. What do you need an onboard toilet for in a world where global war has rendered societal norms, such as not peeing anywhere, nil. Lacking the complex mechanical and electronic components of some of its colleagues here, the Volvo C303 can be kept running with duct tape and shoe polish. Plus, what's tougher than a big red brick?
Sisu XA-185
Who knows more about surviving danger than, well, Dr. Danger? So we'll let the good Dr take this one:
Three important reasons:
1. Mobility: Amphibious 6x6
2. Safety: Zombie proof, also with a mounted NSV machine gun
3. Power Plant: Decent diesel engine (we all know diesel engines are versatile with fuel)
The Buffalo Force Protection Vehicle
t can crush a Hummer, clear a minefield and keep you safe from grenade-chucking survivors hoping to kill you off as you fight for that last barrel of oil or pool of freshwater. It may not be the most comfortable choice for long trips, but it does come with a space shuttle-like mine raking arm, which JoSCh points out "could skewer a cadre of zombies." Perfect. Oh, and if you pick the right one, it may even transform. []
It's hard to argue with the MaxiMog, which starts life as the über-capable Mercedes Unimog and gets converted for full survival duty. It's as tough as the Unicat, but comes with a high-performance motorbike BOV, undersea vehicle and a special living trailer. Even better, mehugtree points out that it includes a UAV that can send live images of zombie hordes from up to ten miles away.

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