| Page 1 of 4 SOMETIME ago, I was watching a talk show programme of a local television channel. A group of supposedly virgin girls and a lady were presented, and the topic of discussion was the desirability of promoting the culture of virginity amongst girls before they get married. The presenters of the talk show programme asked the girls questions about how they were able to remain virgins in our "permissive" society, how they avoided "temptation", and what they did, individually, whenever they feel the urge to have sex. The lady who accompanied the girls talked about her new initiative to identify, celebrate and reward virgins. The discussants were unanimous in praising the virginity test which the girls underwent and the initiative for encouraging girls to remain virgins as long as they are unmarried. Although after the programme I felt that one should address objectively the issue of virginity and its desirability or undesirability in this column, I never really made up my mind to do so until I read an essay on the subject by Madam Adunni Adediran, who was described as "the unofficial mother of the virgin girls" (Sunday Sun, April 13, 2008). In the essay, Mrs. Adediran claimed that the celebration of Nigerian virgin girls is the only concept that throws light on the chastity of Nigerian girls, "without which the populace was of the opinion that it is impossible to find a virgin girl in Nigeria after the age of fifteen years". She also claimed that prior to her programme, "nobody knew that virgin girls could be fished out in Lagos, and that attitude had dragged numerous people into the rural areas for spouses, which many regretted later." According to Mrs. Adediran, men worldwide are very much interested in virginity, but thinking it impossible, they had said "to hell" with the sacred thing. She has started receiving messages already from some men in Nigeria and abroad asking her to introduce virgin girls to them for permanent relationship. Mrs. Adediran made some other dubious unscientific claims which I will discuss in the course of this analysis. Suffice it to say that Mrs. Adediran, perhaps a devout Christian, from the general tenor of her essay, believes that it is a commendable feat for girls above fifteen to remain incontinent as long as they are not married, deserving of a "certificate of virtue", that it is perfectly alright to avoid sex before marriage, and that a child of God will never be raped. Before I deal with the specific claims of Mrs. Adediran, I would like to say a few words about a "virgin." Like most words related to human sexuality, the term "virgin" is not completely exact in its meaning. It can be used as a noun, an adjective, or even as a verb. The 20th Century Chambers Dictionary defines "virgin" as "one (especially a woman) who has had no sexual intercourse." This definition is deceptively simple, because when the question is asked about how to physically identify a virgin, complexities rear up. Generally, it is impossible to obtain a physical proof that an adult male is not a virgin. For girls and women, however, the presence of hymen, a thin membranous substance which partially closes the entrance to the virgina, is typically interpreted as a physical index of virginity. Yet, it is well known that the hymens of many girls who have never had sex had been lacerated as a result of vigorous physical exercise or masturbation. Again, it is plainly ridiculous to say that a woman whose hymen was torn by a man's probing finger while there was absolutely no penile entry into her virgina has had sex. Consequently, the absence of an intact hymen is not a reliable sign that a woman is not a virgin. Other biological and socio-cultural factors, such as pregnancy, marriage and religious rites which stress the importance of girls remaining "chaste and pure" until their wedding night, work dialectically together to put the burden of establishing virginity on women. The ritual importance attached to virginity and the cult of virgins began in ancient times as human societies became increasingly segregated along gender lines and as men widened their dominance over women. Borrowing from the virgin cults of ancient Egypt, Babylon and Greece, Christianity especially the Catholic Church, elevated the status of "virgin" Mary almost to the level of a goddess, to relieve the spiritual austerity of Judaism, the religion of the Jews from which Christianity evolved. Prophet Mohammed, the founder of Islam, did not make such concession to females, although the Koran and Hadith contain texts that acknowledged the importance of women in Islam. In traditional African societies, emphasis on female virginity also began in the remote past, with religion as its basis. The preoccupation with preserving the virginity of women before they marry was, and still is, based on unscientific understanding of human nature and human sexuality, and on the need to properly identify the paternity of children. Hence, it should not be surprising to anyone seriously interested in knowing the truth that developments in the relevant sciences, such as psychology and medicine indicate that abstinence from sex after sexual maturity is generally not beneficial to both men and women. More precisely, it is unhealthy, both physically and psychologically for both men and women to wait for too long until they are married before they start having sex. This position contradicts Mrs. Adediran's attitude. It also contradicts the prevailing opinion in Nigeria today, particularly in the face of the campaigns against sexually transmitted diseases and AIDS. But consider dispassionately the following arguments. Dr. Albert Ellis, one of America's foremost authority on sex, in his work Sex And the Single Man, discussed in details some of the problems associated with prolonged abstinence from sex in individuals who have reached sexual maturity. His discussion was centered on man, but it also contains information about similar problems in women. According to him, prolonged virginity impairs physical health. He cited the studies of Dr. W.J. Robinson a sexologist, who asserted that abstinence from sexual activity after maturity produces distinctly unfavourable physical and psychical conditions which are incurable sometimes. Another scholar, Dr. Hugo G. Biegel, held that: "varied though the consequences of abstinence may be, the gratification of the sexual drive is a necessity for the normally developed human, and the disregard of this necessity over a long period of time is likely to break the life impulses and thus to affect not only happiness and well being but also physical and mental health. " W.S. Taylor confirms that prolonged sexual abstinence in women leads to chlorosis, dysmenorrhea, shrinking of the breasts, and congestion of the ovaries. In both sexes, according to Taylor, it produces insomnia, metabolic and nervous disorders. In Sigmund Freud's Collected Papers, Bertrand Russell's Marriage and Morals, L.A. Kirkendall's The Problem of Remaining a Virgin and other studies, it has been established beyond reasonable doubt that abstinence lasting many years has very unpleasant consequences for both men and women. Similarly, Albert Ellis reports that different kinds and degrees of emotional tenseness and disturbances in many individuals with high sex drives have been traced to prolonged virginity. Researchers have unearthed evidence that for many people, complete abstinence has disastrous effects on sexual performance, and could render someone temporarily or permanently impotent or frigid. Distortions of social values are also part of the problem of prolonged sexual continence. No less an authority then the patron saint of psychoanalysis, Freud, recognized the negative social dimension of long-standing abstinence from sex when he wrote: "Let us add that together with the restrictions on sexual activity in any nation there always goes an increase of anxiety concerning life and of fear of death, which interfere with each individual's capacity for enjoyment. And do away with his willingness to incur risk of death in whatever cause "showing itself in diminished inclination to beget offspring, thus excluding many people or group of such a type from participation in the future." Overemphasis on chastity tends to make parents unduly harsh, hard and inconsiderate about the erotico-emotional needs of their children.
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Saturday, May 3, 2008
Much ado about virginity
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