Clueing in to your guy's covert bedroom urges can make the difference between mediocre and mind-blowing nooky
You may be convinced that you have your man's carnal code cracked, but there isn't just one way to unlock his passion. In fact, his lusty leanings can change with his hormones, stress levels, and even the time of day, explains Los Angeles psychologist and sex therapist Geoffry White, PhD. Get a read on exactly when — and how — your guy wants to be wowed in the sack by checking out our sexy hints. You'll reap the pleasurable benefits too.
Animalistic Sex
His mood clues: After your man whups his pals on the basketball court or nails an important deal at work, he's likely to crave an uninhibited quickie against a wall or a lusty shag anywhere there's a smooth surface. The reason? His alpha instincts are taking over.
"When men win at sports, even when they're just watching a sport and their team triumphs, or when they have success like a promotion at work, testosterone levels tend to go up," says anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. Translation: He's revved with T-juice and dying to throw you (gently) down on the bed for a serious pleasure session.
Your guy may also be prone to be hungry for some randy roughhousing before breakfast. "Levels of testosterone tend to be higher in the very early morning," says Fisher. Sex drive often builds to its highest point from dawn until around 10am. "He's likely to wake up already turned on and feeling assertive."
How to rock his world: When he's flushed after a win or starts gloating about a mini success, bait him by slowly stripping off your clothes across the room — in his eye line but out of his reach. "Just looking at your naked body can further raise a man's testosterone, feeding his desire," says Fisher. Let him watch you touch your own erogenous zones, which will make him hot and give you satisfaction too.
When you've tortured him for a few minutes, let him get his hands on the championship prize: you. Then initiate a primal move that fuels his frisky craving. "Standing sex, where he holds you up against a wall with your legs wrapped around his lower back, gives him an animalistic challenge," says Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Your man is in the aggressor role since he's holding you up with his arms and lower bod, and he also gets the visual thrill of watching your breasts bounce during the act.
Kick it up a notch by letting yourself revel aloud about how hot he's getting you or tell him a specific thing you want him to keep doing because it feels so good, suggests Fulbright. "Verbally boosting his ego can help build orgasmic intensity for you both."
Supersensual Sex
His mood clues: Women aren't the only ones who desire slow-burn sexual intimacy. In fact, one of the biggest complaints among men is that women don't touch them enough during sex, which is a common way of maintaining emotional closeness in a relationship, according to The Hite Report on Male Sexuality. The trick is nailing down exactly when your guy longs for steam-up-the-windows romantic sex.
Surprisingly, men crave this type of intimacy after experiencing something new or unusual. "Having novel experiences with your man releases dopamine, which triggers lust and desire," says Fisher. That's why your dude may suddenly feel the urge to get superclose when you're in a new locale, whether it's diving into your hotel bed or snuggling under the stars on a camping trip.
Another lust trigger for slow, body-meshing sex is in the aftermath of something scary. "The novelty of a dangerous situation you'd see in a horror movie or after trying a slightly risky, adrenaline-fueled activity together can also feed dopamine levels and make him want to feel emotionally closer to you via sex," says Fisher.
How to rock his world: Next time you try anything new, from rappelling down a mountain to seeing a spine-tingling flick together, take him home and introduce a sensual new move that feeds a mental and physical connection, like the Kama Sutra position Yab-Yum. Here's how: Sitting in his lap face-to-face with your legs wrapped around each other's back, you and your guy can gaze into each other's eyes as your hands roam freely. All the while, your private parts press sensually against each other, furthering intimacy.
"This is an all-access position that allows him to see and touch your entire body," says Fulbright. "And because it provides more direct stimulation of the clitoris, the woman is more likely to orgasm than in the missionary position."
Don't-Lift-a-Finger Sex
His mood clues: Chances are, if your guy's been placating annoying relatives, wigging about finances or dealing with a demanding boss, stress is likely to make him crave low-maintenance sex (where all he has to do is unzip his fly, if that).
"Anxiety's onset drives up levels of dopamine and, thus, testosterone, which combined with workday exhaustion is likely to leave a man craving sexual release without much effort," says Fulbright.
Unfortunately, today's high expectations for male sexual performance may instead heighten his stress level. "Since men are so programmed to work for sex, he'll feel relieved of performance pressure when you catch him off guard with this low-maintenance brand of sex," says White. "If a guy can lie back and feel sexually taken care of, it can improve his overall state of mind as well as the sensations his body is capable of experiencing."
How to rock his world: When you sense your man is stressed, help him unwind by telling him he doesn't even have to get off the sofa. Then take the reins by stripping off his shirt and slowly kissing him from his neck down to his waistline, followed by some below-the-belt action.
To make his head spin as you're pleasuring him, try this trick: "Break away every now and then to drag your tongue along the crease between his pelvis and inner thigh, which will flood his lower body with increased sensation," Fulbright says.
Next, slide onto his lap in reverse cowgirl position with your hands balanced on his thighs for support. Much like doggie-style, he'll be able to revel in watching your tush and touching your breasts — but without expending any lower-body energy.
This pose also gives him supereasy access to pressing your hot buttons. "As you move forward and back in this position, his member will directly stimulate your clitoris with minimal effort on his part," says Fulbright. "Just remember to squeeze your PC muscles as you thrust because it can help you both have bigger, better orgasms more quickly."
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